Today, I experienced one of the most heart breaking things that I have seen in my life, the visitation of a three month old little girl. Some of the little girl's family had recently visited Grace and we were notified today about the visitation. As we entered the funeral home, there laid the beautiful little girl. Instantly, my heart ached. What words can bring comfort in a time like that? What can be said that would help and not seem insensitive?
As Jesse and I sat in the pews watching a video that one of the aunts had made for the family, I watched the tears steam down the faces of the family and heard the pain in each sob. I watched as the photos and videos of this three month old little angel were displayed on the projection screen. Shots from the pregnancy test to the ultrasound photos to pictures of the father being stationed oversees serving in the military to beautiful photos of the pregnant mom. I know that as my heart sank and broke that Your heart was even more broken for that family. Just as Jesus cried for those mourning the death of Lazarus, You wept for the family and those heart broken on this day. Your plan was for us to have no death, to have no pain, to have no sorrow but that all changed when sin entered the world. We are left with a world where three month precious angels take their final breath much too soon.
As I sat there, I could not help but think of my children and the "what ifs" began to play in my mind. I could not imagine the pain of losing a child. However, I know that my mom had to suffer the pain of losing a child the same day that she gave birth to my oldest brother, Christopher. I can't remember how old I was when I found out about him but over the years, I have often wondered what he would have been like. I also know that my in-laws had to say goodbye to their son much too soon as well. I have walked with Kat and her parents through that tragedy and have seen the wounds that still exist from saying goodbye to someone before we thought that it was time. I am not sure that the hole created by the loss of a child can ever be filled. I think that time can ease the wound but I believe that only You can help comfort the pain.
Tonight, Kat and I listened to this song by Taylor Swift and The Civil Wars that made me think about the those that have lost a child and the heartache that they have felt and continue to feel. I think that the words of some songs just spark an emotional response and when I hear the words to this song, I am taken to a sad scene in the book, Hunger Games, but I believe that I am taken to a deeper place of empathy for those hurting the loss of a loved one. "You'll be all right, no one can hurt you now." "Just close your eyes, you'll be all right." As I think about the pain that this world gives to those that walk it's surface, I think about that little girl and all those that have gone before us and they will not have to hurt any longer. Sometimes, I believe that listening to music is a way to express one's emotions without having to say a word. May You comfort those tonight in pain and suffering from the loss of a child.